As someone who has experienced years of anxiety, I am deeply grateful to tell you such fear is not a death sentence or a permanent state of being.
Victory can be had,I learned.
Fear Asks Permission
Did you know fear isn’t more powerful than us? Like a strong bear, it may have the ability to maul and consume us, but it doesn’t come out of nowhere and overtake us. It first needs a reason. An invitation. Permission.
In writing my short thriller, The Cabin, about a writer who seeks out solitude and inspiration in an isolated cabin and has a Cujo-type of bear encounter, I researched bear behavior. What I came across was compelling, especially considering the bear in this thriller seems like Fear personified the more I write him. Check out this advice to hikers when coming upon a bear who is not aggressive, but is advancing on the hiker nonetheless.
Victory can be had,I learned.
Fear Asks Permission
Did you know fear isn’t more powerful than us? Like a strong bear, it may have the ability to maul and consume us, but it doesn’t come out of nowhere and overtake us. It first needs a reason. An invitation. Permission.
In writing my short thriller, The Cabin, about a writer who seeks out solitude and inspiration in an isolated cabin and has a Cujo-type of bear encounter, I researched bear behavior. What I came across was compelling, especially considering the bear in this thriller seems like Fear personified the more I write him. Check out this advice to hikers when coming upon a bear who is not aggressive, but is advancing on the hiker nonetheless.
I used to get panic attacks in crowds. Conferences, the mall, any large crowd, really, could leave me feeling like someone was sitting on my chest, pressing the air out of me.
One time, my husband Mark and I were walking in a mall and I was feeling that familiar sensation of drowning. The thousands of people that had surrounded us for hours seemed to pile up in my mind and became this overwhelming mountain of intimidation.
“I need to go,” I said.
Though he didn’t understand the intensity of my fear or any logical reason for it, he loved me, so said, “Okay. Whatever you need.”
We turned to exit through a sky-walk and, while I was grateful for the escape, I’d let the panic go on too long. Like a migraine that can’t be stopped once it’s gotten to a certain point, the panic had become too big to swallow or ignore. The sky-walk began to swim and fade to black at the edges.
“I need to sit down,” I said, and made my way to a nearby bench. Clasping my head between my hands, there was hardly any place to look that didn’t make my head swirl. Looking at the floor, I still peripherally saw people walking by, their feet seeming to march relentlessly, closing in on me and making the mountain larger. Closing my eyes made all the people go away, but then the darkness seemed to swirl.
Mark put a hand on my back and waited patiently for me to recover. I held my head and breathed through the (thankfully) mild panic attack. Finally, when I felt able to walk and see straight again, we made our way to the parking lot and back home.
As someone who has experienced years of anxiety, I am deeply grateful to tell you I don’t get those anymore. Such fear is not a death sentence or a permanent state of being, I learned. Victory can be had.
Over the years, as I looked inward at my thought processes, beliefs, and responses, I learned a critical and freeing truth:
Fear, it turns out, needs our permission to overtake us.
Fear Asks Permission
Did you know fear isn’t more powerful than us? Like a strong bear, it may have the ability to maul and consume us, but it doesn’t come out of nowhere and overtake us. It first needs a reason. An invitation. Permission.
In writing my short thriller, The Cabin, about a writer who seeks out solitude and inspiration in an isolated cabin and has a Cujo-type of bear encounter, I researched bear behavior. What I came across was compelling, especially considering the bear in this thriller seems like Fear personified the more I write him. Check out this advice to hikers when coming upon a bear who is not aggressive, but is advancing on the hiker nonetheless.
“A bear that is initially curious or testing you may become predatory if you do not stand up to it.”[1]
That struck me as being a lot like Fear. Like a curious bear testing us, Fear sniffs around for an opening. It initiates its investigation by offering our minds a fleeting thought to worry about. Fear is curious – will it gain the permission to burrow deeper, and the power to overtake us?
We’ve all had that moment when a seemingly random worry crosses our mind. Maybe it’s a sudden worry about the baby you left with a sitter, or the husband who you know is in the garage working under the car that’s up on jacks. Or maybe the worry is about the wart that appeared on the bottom of your foot and you can’t help but wonder if it’s cancerous.
Having lived with anxiety for much of my life, I’ve had many such moments. And each time, what fear was really asking was, “Can I move in and take over your thoughts for a while? Let’s see.” And it handed me something to worry about. As with the curious, testing bear, my response would determine whether or not I would become its prey.
Bear survival advice looks like this. The best option is, of course, to avoid it. If you do end up coming upon a bear, best is to back away slowly. Let it know you’re no threat, and go quietly away. But, in the rare circumstance that a bear is interested enough in you to pursue you, meaning they’re advancing toward you non-aggressively, but certainly, the advice changes to “stand up for yourself.”
Fear is sometimes like the pursuing bear; this external entity that wants to know what kind of creature we are. It’s curious enough to poke around and find out, and it’s hungry enough to consume us if we’re consumable. When Fear tests us, handing us those often random things to worry about, our best hope for survival is to stand up for ourselves, letting the bear – the fear – know that we are not consumable.
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Fending Off the Bear of Fear
So what does it look like practically to stand up against Fear? I’m sure application looks different for different people, but I can tell you how it’s looked for me.
Most of the time, I employ a two-step strategy I discovered in Philippians 4. You know, the passage that says “Do not worry about anything, instead pray about everything.”? That one. The verse right after it gives the strategy for peace in the midst of fear.
“Tell God what you need, thank Him for what He’s done, and the peace of God will guard your hearts as you live in Christ Jesus.”
Do you see it? That’s a two-step plan! I call it the Prescription for Peace.
Step one: Tell God What You Need.
I follow the two-step plan to the letter. I do. First, I dump ALL my fretting and worrying and fear right at his feet. Every piece of it. Before I know it, my journal page is full of fears I didn’t even know were attached to that one worry. I let it all out in one big stream of consciousness. An avalanche of admission. A fountain of fear.
But this is an assignment to tell Him what I need. So, I look over the list, and think about the need behind each fear. For example, the fear might be that my children won’t have friends or that I’ll die before they’re grown and they’ll be traumatized and broken forever because of it. This was a real fear that has chased me a number of times. As I thought about it, I realized the need wasn’t for my kids to have friends. My need wasn’t even to live long enough to raise our children. Really, the deeper need behind all of that was to know that they’ll be okay. That’s what I really needed.
What’s the deeper need behind your fears?
Tell God about it.
Step Two: Thank Him for all He’s Done
Step two has us shift gears. Suddenly we’re supposed to think about the past. What has He done for me? When did He come through in the past?
Sometimes the memory reel turns slowly like a rusted gear, but it always turns. Soon my mind fills with memories – about the time He healed my fingers when no doctor could. The way He freed me from panic attacks. The times He provided for us miraculously when we didn’t have enough gas and groceries. And all the ways He has been our comforter and closest ally when family and friends abandoned us.
As the memories come, my eyes mist up and the corners of my mouth turn up with joy. Gratitude. Celebration. Praise. What a good heavenly Father we have!
I can’t help but look at all His faithfulness through all the past fear and struggles and realized my current fears and struggles and needs are small compared to His greatness. That’s not to say they’re insignificant – not at all! I’m still greatly concerned about these things, but recalling all the evidence of His power and ability and kindness and faithfulness reminds me that this, too, is in God’s very capable hands.
And I am reassured. As I turn my heart to thankfulness for the past, I have hope and peace for the present and future, and the promise is fulfilled; the peace of God guards my heart.
The Bear of Fear loves to test us – I’m convinced he wants to see us run so he can chase and pounce and consume us. When we stand up to him though, declaring we are not consumable, we win. We don’t play his game, so he backs down, wandering off to explore for other more interesting things.
Whether or not you’re a Christian, I encourage you to prevent fear from becoming full blown fear by standing up for yourself.
The Prescription for Peace has proven reliable for me in seasons of worry, sorrow, addiction, rejection... I can't think of a season where it didn't help me.
How do you stand up against Fear?
[1] http://www.bearsmart.com/play/bear-encounters/
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